I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
