She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
