Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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