And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
