How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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