Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
