This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Randomize
