New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize