hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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