i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I had to cum in my sink.
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