why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
