My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
how do you play pong handcuffed?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
