i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Houston, we have a blender
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
