stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
