Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
