I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
