They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
