after a month anything with tits is on the radar
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
