Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
