You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
