dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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