don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
