No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
