it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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