that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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