i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
