I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
