I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
