My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
