Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
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