I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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