so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Those nachos came to me in a dream
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
