I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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