My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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