i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Randomize
