that's an acceptable place to lick
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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