i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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