Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
