Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
