Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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