go do what you do best...puke behind churches
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
