Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
