I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
