and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
