I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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