Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
