Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
