I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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