Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
