You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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