So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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