Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
