I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
