Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
