I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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