whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize