I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
