8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
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