The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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