rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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