I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
