It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
