i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
