i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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