Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
