dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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