I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
