you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
