and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
So much Jack, so little girl.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
