I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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