Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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