angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize