We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
God, I missed his penis.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
