Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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