my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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