Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
