i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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