i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
